ep 85: symphony of light

So this is what happens:

The Invid launch hella shock troopers against the returning RDF fleet.

Corg owns Scott in a dogfight and then takes out a bunch of other Alpha fighters just to drive the point home that he owns people.

The RDF fleet gets ready to fire off Neutron-S missiles to decimate the Earth’s surface, because that seems like a really good idea.

The gang hangs out with the Regis and watches the battle in space. They see the Shadow Fighters launching towards Reflex Point. They appeal to the Regis for a peaceful solution. How boring would these series be if they ever came to a peaceful resolution?

Marlene asks Scott if it’s possible that he could love her. She plays the “I feel so strange whenever I’m with you” card. I like when aliens use the word “strange” because they don’t know the word, “horny.”

Rand and Rook get in their Alphas and attack Corg. They are acting all couply now. This is clearly why they get trashed. (Never underestimate the battle prowess of a single unloved Invid simulagent.)

Corg breaks out of Rand’s full nelson because Rook doesn’t want to shoot him? Because he’s cute? Wha? Anyway…

Scott comes back in the Beta Fighter. It’s Blue Hair vs. Blue Hair to the death.

Scott beats Corg finally with some arcane mecha-fighting move. It’s difficult to explain how, but, big surprise, it involves launching about THREE DOZEN CLUSTER MISSILES AT HIM.

Scott: “All this destruction means nothing.” Well, unless you have stock in the Cluster Missile manufacturing companies. Then you’re making out like a bandit.

The Regis decides to move on. She speaks of “a world that even now calls to me.” No other discussion of what that world might be.

The RDF fleet admiral decides to launch the neutron missiles, like a big military-industrial douchebag would.

Sera and Lancer mecha up and repel the attacking Shadow Fighters. The Shadow Fighter battloids don’t have much in the way of heads. Curious aesthetic decision.

The Regis absorbs all of Reflex Point and her entire race into a giant energy phoenix and leaves Earth. No packing boxes or moving trucks for this one. That is when you know you’re dealing with advanced technology. The phoenix annihilates the neutron missiles and most of the RDF fleet on its way out. Isn’t that convenient?

Lancer does a final concert in a slinky orange dress, singing “We Will Win.” At this point, perhaps it should be redone as “We Have Won, Alien Bitches!”

Scott says his goodbyes to the gang, because he’d rather go roam around in space looking for Admiral Hunter then stay and make sweet love to Marlene, who has gotta be tired of wearing that jacket at this point. I Don’t Know What’s Wrong With That Guy!!!

Lunk announces that he wants a farm.

Rand and Rook talk about their future, which will probably involve babies, fishing, and occasional cleaning of the old arm cannons.

Lancer whips off the dress and reveals himself to be a guy, shocking his amassed fans. (Not only that, he’s screwing a green-haired alien fighter pilot….but oh, in this universe, that’s more socially acceptable.) Again, this is a pretty great moment of gender-bending to occur in a cartoon aimed at pre-teens in the ’80s.

As Scott leaves the planet, Lancer closes with “The Way To Love.” In my mind he comes back for an encore of Pat Benetar’s “(Stop Using) Protoculture As A Weapon.”

Last shot: Lancer’s song playing, Scott’s Alpha/Beta fighter flying off towards the moon, and somehow Scott ejects Marlene’s holo-locket out of the fighter so that it falls back towards Earth.How did he do that? Maybe there is one of those little chutes for disposing waste like in airplanes? I guess that for those long trips in the Veritech they must have some way of getting rid of their poo. Kinda makes you wonder what they did in X-wings, doesn’t it? (Do not, in any form, attempt to respond to the question.) Of course in Star Wars they had the astromech droids to clean up all their shit. Anyway, digressing, the closing image leaves it wide open what the hell Scott’s doing with his life, as well as what Lunk’s gonna do on his farm with a yappy dwarf teenager and a heartbroken hottie unemployed alien double-agent. Perhaps they’ll grow tomatoes (that transform into kitties).

Preview of next episode: a return to the beginning of the Macross saga, episode 1, “Booby Trap.”

And with that, my childhood ended.


ep84: dark finale

I never saw this one completely ’cause my own VHS copy back in the day was skagged.

Scott and the real Robotech Army prep to attack Reflex Point. In an interesting coaching decision, Scott leaves Rand, Rook and Annie behind ’cause they’re not in the regular military. For some reason, Lancer and Lunk are, although Lunk’s major tactical function appears to be the driving of trucks. Anyway, this sets up a wonderful scene of Lancer saying farewell and giving Rook a goodbye kiss. He is a straight player, that Lancer.

Rook and Rand join the battle anyway, so we get some cool Cyclone action vs. the Invid enforcers. Mid-battle, Rand tells Rook “he’s fond of her” and she gets all wide-eyed.

LESSON LEARNED FROM ROBOTECH #84.3: fighting aliens at the end of the world offers many hookup opportunities.

So they finally get into Reflex Point, and the Regis (queen of the Invid) gives her big “I-am-the-Alpha-and-Omega-puny-humans-pay-attention-to-me-because-of-my-reverby-voice-and-also-I-am-emanating-energy-tendrils-constantly-so-you-know-I-am-kind-of-the-Big-Deal-around-here” cult-leader/pyramid-marketing-pitch monologue. Booooooring. All-powerful alien monarchs, they all talk the same.

Getting a little verklempt here. One episode left.